LIFE AND DEATH

situation 1:

sept 28 2009,do a urine test n found out im prgnt..but d result was doubtful as d line was only 1 clear red line n d other 1 is jez a pale red line...sam thing happen when i did d test @ dr.goh n dr.kheng's...both dr's said positive im prgnt...so i was so happy....

oct 9 2009,early morning i spotted a stained bleeding..decided 2 go 2 my gynea dr felice...reach d clinic around 8.30am...when scan dr felice said she cant detect d pregnancy..im shocked...from calculation i am 6weeks prgnt by now shud be d heartbeat n sack is visible..but dr still insisted she cant c d sack neither do d heartbeat.....so we did a bloodtest jez 2 make sure dat i am really2 prgnt...by evening d same day doc's call n said yes i am prgnt as d calculation shows dat my hormones is increasing...do dr asked 2 go back n rest n came back 2days later 2 do a 2nd bloodtest..

oct 11 2009,went 2 d ward 2 do d bloodtest...went back home n anxiously waiting 4 d nurse 2 call abt d result...evening,nurse call n said result shows theres a slight increase in d calculation (from 500++ - 600++)...been asked to c dr on monday(oct 12)...went 2 d clinic n do another scan but doc still cant c d sack....doc decided 2 do another blood test 2 make sure it is not an ectopic prgncy....

oct 12 2009,received a shocking news from d clinic...been asked to c dr felice...dr told me about wat she scared most about...ectopic pregnancy...coz my blood calculation is not increasing normally as a normal prgnt normal prgnt women calculation..from 500+ to 600+ to 700++...4 a normal prgncy,d calculation shud be doubled...decided 2 went back home n discuss with hubby on wat 2 do next...

oct 13 2009,manage 2 go 2 work n meet a few client..after my last meeting with hub's partner,a slight pain on my abdoment accur..decided 2 jez go ahead with my next agenda..went lunch with hub's @ karamunsing...went to urinate n found out im bleeding...told hub n hub said better 2 go 2 dclinic...said 2 hub i can still cope with d pain n told me him will go back 2 office n theni will go 2 d clinic....while driving pain struck...sgt2 sakit...manage 2 drive myself 2 d clinic...alhamdulilah smpi jg....so call hubs n told wat happen n asked him 2 go 2 d clinic...doc's scanned again but still no sack visible...so we did a vaginal scan....at last manage 2 c a small sack in d middle of d womb..doc said its either d sack is going up or down(meaning a miscarriage la if go down)...but still doc only 80% sure on wat she saw is d sack n d other 20% still a doubt for an ectopic prgncy..so been admitted 2 d ward 4 a monitoring...

situation 2:

oct 14 2009,after all nite observation n no pain occur,doc's said can go back home n rest..given a 3days mc....so went back home wit hubs...reach home around 12pm...was alone as hubs had 2 do some urgent work n dani is still in school....then suddenly...sakit perut teramat2 sangat dgn pinggang...manage 2 walk 2 toilet..decided 2 squat d tmpt mandi takut2 if ada apa2 kuar x dpt ambi if duk d bowl tandas.....in a few second i can feel something is moving down from my uterus mcm ada benda mau tekeluar...skali i squat......PLUP!!!PLUP!!!then in saw a whitish blood clot with blood on d floor...red flesh blood..ras mau pengsan pun ada....manage 2 kutip d 'clot" n keep it in a container n the call hub.....perasaan tme 2 tuhan ja yg tahu..nangis2 x brenti coz i feel like apa yg kluar tu la d "sack"...imagine my feeling dat tme...then around 1pm hub smpi n we went 2 d clinic....

reach clinic n show doc d 'clot'....doc said its not d sack....but still naluri keibuan ni ckp 'itu la dia'....so buat lgi another scan...d small sack yg doc nmpk yesterday is no longer there..do another vaginal scan..imagine my pain dat tme...sabar ja la..DUGGGGGGGGGGGG!!doc said she spotted a liquid look alike outside my rahim...takut its a bood yg sdh rupture...aduiiiii!!!!so kna admit n doc said mau buat scope surgery.....tuhan ja yg tau my feeling masa tu..time d ward mcm2 sdh doa dmulut ni..ngam lg hub x da p urus dani blik skul..then tiba2 d nurse said 5pm u will go through d operation..i even sign d surat keizinan 4 d operation..call hub n he said x smpt smpi b4 i go 2 surgery....risau sgt2 risau btul at dat tme....but miracle was,tme 2 mmg x da lgsg sdh rasa sakit ka apa2 sdh...so 5 pm...

OPERATION THEATER:

lie down flat on d ot's bed...dmulut ni smua doa2 dititip...smbil mengucap 2kalimah shahadat....prassaan time 2 mmg berkecamuk....dlm hati ckp "if aku mati tme buat surgery ni aku blm smpt lg tgk anak laki aku....mommy pun blm smpi x smpt jmp mommy..."....then tiba2 bius mau bg tidur 2 started 2 run in my veins.....aduh sakitnya mcm mau mati bha rasa.......sakit berat sgt2 d dada.....but dunno y my mind n body btul2 x mau trima e2 bius tdur...reject hbs2an..smpi tkang bius pun ckp "ko stress ka??rilex bha..."...the after kali ke 2 tkg bius 2 try kes tdur x jg dpt dia ckp lg "jgn ko lwn..jez sleep..naik sdh darh ko ni 160....."...after 4 time attemp mau kes tdur n x h=jg dpt,finnaly i manage 2 pull myself bersuara dlm keadaan yg high n sakit dada... i said n i quote "blhka if sy mau cancel...sy x mau buat ni operate..(smbil gegar2...)..plz call doc felice..i want her....".then n nurses pun kelam kabutla memanggil doc felice...then bermula episod marah2 oleh doc felice.....mcm2la dia ckp...tp with a nice tone la....so i said i x sdap hati mau go thru d surgery,please postponed......i need my hubby n mommy.....so they stop everything n send me bacck 2 my room...

FUHHHHHHHH..LEGAAAAAA....ALHAMDULILAH...x payah mau putung2....so around 6pm hub dtg with dani..hati tme 2 pyala gembira x terkata nmpk anak n laki.....manage 2 slow talk n discuss with hubby...told hub theres no point on doing d scope surgery coz i dont feel any pain anymore...told doc about it n ask doc whether we can do a scanning a bloodtest d next day...

0ct 15 2009,early morning a nurse came 2 my room n took my blood sample....tgu pya tgu pya tgu 4 result at last doc dtg.......DUGGGGGGGGGGG!!!doc said "GUD NEWS GIRL,UR BLOOD RESULT WENT DOWN FROM 700+ TO 189..BACK 2 NORMAL..SO I RULE OUT D ECTOPIC PRGNCY..U HAD A MISCARRIAGE N MOST PROBABLY IT WAS AN ECTOPIC PRGNCY B4 BUT IT TURN OUT 2 BE A CUBICLE PRGNCY N MANAGE 2 PUSH D SACK OUT FROM D TUBE N THEN U HAD DIS BLEEDING....",.....WAHHHHHHHHHH.....I SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY..smbil smpt mau trjun katil peluk doc felice...........so d same day kna discharge blik rmh n been asked 2 rest at home..so now im on mc till next wed...next wed have 2 go 2 d clinic n scan mau tgk sdh ckean or not my womb..fyi up till now blm lg ada buat dnc coz masi still bleeding normally..hopefully x pyhla mau buat dnc....takutttttttttttt...dlu b4 conceive dani pun ada miscarriage x da jg buat dnc manage 2 bunting after dat....n so biarpun apa yg terjadi sbrnrnya kehilangan nyawa benih yg bru mula membesar,i am still so sad yg dis had 2 happen...x pa la...bkn rezeki kmi utk kali ini...apa yg penting ialah smuanya sdh selamat.....

AND SO THAT IS MY LIFE N DEATH EXPERIENCE.....Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku,Aku bersyukur kepadamu ya Allah,aku masi berdiri dan bernafas pada hari ini.....atas keizinanMu aku terjadi dan atas keizinanMu jugala aku kembali kepadaMu ya Allah....amin ya rabaal ala min.......

im bacccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!

my thousand apologize to all my loyal readers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!im so sorry 4 my long dissapearence...been away n bz with life,work and everything lately....gosh it has been so long since i blog aite.........

wats new with my life lately??hurmmm let me think,nothing much actually....did i mention dat ive been in a car accident twice for d past month??heheh..i know...selang few days ja both my accident dat..but neways im ok..only my car yg a lil' bit hancus..hehehehhe....

dani d lil' baby pwincess??oo gosh,she's big now....sangat2 suka becakap...petpot2 ja mulut dia....words dat she always says nowadays..meh-mommy,abah-abah,bo-ball,cis-cheese,pis-pipis aka kencing,damau-enda mau,no-no,mom-momom/mkn,num-minum,nen-nenen,chut-chuchut,etc......

as 4 my work life,nothing much actually..only dat im a lil bit sad coz have 2 go outstation dis upcoming august (15-19)...sad coz im gonna leave dani n her abah in kk alone...going on a working trip...wat 2 do...did suggest hubby 2 follow me 2 go 2 kl but dia ckp dia malas!!!eee geram i....5 days leaving dani with her abah i bet i will cry everynite...sob sob.....

wat else in life??been trying 2 conceive baby but wat 2 do blm ada rejeki!!!heheh..keep on trying...insyallah if ada rezeki ada la tu nti kan..heheheh.....so,till then,now im leaving u guys again n hopefully will blog again sometime soon..

luv ya'll!!!

hello world.....

hello people on earth...heheh...its been a while since i last blog....been quite bz lately woth work n life....but since dat im on mc today,i decided 2 blog..heheh...took a day off (mc la bha)...hehe..due 2 migrain n backache...my backache probably because of my previous epidural which i took during my labour pain dlul time deliver c dani....so as i was lying on bed dis afternoon,i watched tv3 show "whi" which is also known as 'wanita hari ini"....d topic catched my attention as it was "perkahwinan budjet"...it remind me of my wedding...out of d blue...lalalal...heheheh....

well,as most of u know,i came from a separated parents/ divorced fam....so,it was not an easy thing 2 do when it comes 2 explaining on "i want to get

married" thinggy wit mommy n abah....at first abah n mommy had a different views on me getting married at a young age....one side said yes d other said no...big no no..hahahh!!!funny...but i manage 2 work my charm on both of my parents n finally i manage 2 make them agree on my marriage..hahahah!!!i think 1 on d reason y i wanted 2 get married because of i wanna get away from all d hassel n problem in life dat i went through at dat point of my life.......yeap,i know..silly...but it works....

n so,after both mommy n abah agreed 2 marry me 2 my darling cinta,i started to do my wedding plan...with nobody assisting me nor helping me on planning my wedding....at first i stumble upon a few things actually...not a few but a lot...ya la bha kan bk

n pernah kwin pun dats y la kucar kacir a bit.....heheh...with magazines info guidence,(ye

ap u read it right,magazine info okay!!),i manage 2 plan step by step of my weds....it took me a year 2 do all d planning....from apparel,photography,v

enue,door gift,caterer,shoes,accessories,invitation list,card n etc i do it all by myself....i even still kept my wedding planner diary with me to date...hahaha....for future reference bha...manatau ada saudara2 yg mau kwin mta tlg...hehe..

okay here's a list down item/things dat i did prior 2 my wedding date:

1) studio picture- cost me n hubby around rm5k++.....x pa la

,once in a lifetime kan...

2) doorgift-rm 5oo++ and had 2 go all d way 2 nilai,ne

geri sembilan 2 buy these thing..coz sana murah bla bli

ni item byk2.....

3) sponsered kain ela 4 d family - rm400++...d wedding

colour themes was orange so hubby n i decided 2 sponser la ckit kain2 n bju batik 2 our immediate family member...mau sponser smua x mampu..mampus kaur duit byk...

4)venue- rm1200++ @ dewan sri kinabalu tabung haji....supp

osed buat d wisma sesb (sdh print d kad lg d venue 2 but had 2 canx last minute due 2 management of sesb ckp bru tkar kapet so x mau ambi buat kwin lg..hampeh!!!!)..and there goes extra rm...

5)wedding card-rm600++,since dat me n huby pya k

ad buat d indon,so ada la extar charges coz mau unik kunun2 kan but sm jg bha d amount bla d plus minus d courier charges...

6)pelamin-rm2000 for dewan tbg haji,rm4oo dor yg drmh hubby(Mlm berinai pya)..

7)bedding-rm300(hubby's place only)..

8)apparel-rm350 (tailormade nikah ),rented masuk dlm studio photo package for sanding apparel..

9)accessories-rm3k++ (including weds ring,etc..)

10)catering-my side only rm12k++...i know cekik darah pya caterer d tbg haji!!!!

11)karaoke-rm400 for 4hrs...

12)videography-mommy's weddings gift to me..i lov

e u mom.....

13)bunga manggar n kompang-rm400++...

14)chocs n candies for doorgift-rm300++...

actually theres a lot of other things lagi la but i forget...hehe...my hantaran from hubby was rm7777.77 and dowry rm200.....fyi duit hantaran 2 mmg x cukup okay...but hubby tmbh lg a few thousand afterwards coz dia sdri pun tau yg byk mau tmbh...so all in d grand total for both my place n hubby's place expenses was around rm30

k++....big amount but ended up happy la x jg berhutang......hehehe...murah compared 2 some couple la bha kan....ada yg buat kwin mcm buli buat graduation ceremony pya budget bha...but apa2 pun yg penting everything settled la....

so for those yg getting married soon of,please asked someone 2 assist u on ur planning coz i know from my experience planning a wedding is not an easy task...memeningkan n very stressful..

yippie!!!sah sah sah!!blh buat baby...hahahah!!!

sah sah...hehehe...

hari bahagia..(hahahah)

till then c u guys on my next blog..happy blog hopping......

life as it is now...

first of all,plz forgive my long dissapearence...been damn bz lately with work....thank god d dateline extended 2 middle july...if not im totaly dead!!!!i hv lots of account 2 be renew n client 2 meet,accounts 2 be settle n report...my godness!!!!

as 4 dani,she's great...so far she like going 2 d nursery...but there r times when shes a lil bit cranky n cried when i send her off in d morning.....as 4 d time being -as off 21may 2009 @ 2002hrs, dani n her abah went out 4 a date  2 kfc.....n left me all alone @ home...but im fine wit dat coz im damn tired n somemore i miss blogging..heheheh

n so,next story,since dat ive been working,hubby hv been very generous with me...guess wat,last week he bought me a new Guess handbeg...i know its not as luxury as LV or Channel,but still Guess is my no.1 fav brand...on top of dat i reward myself with a brand new Guess Sunglasses...since dat my old 1 outdated n a lil bit loose..hehehe....

well,as im writing dis,actually my back hurt a lot...dunno y...lately since ive started working my migrain seems 2 be a bit heavy n wont go away unless i took ponstan...as 4 my back pain i dunno y,most probably because of driving here n there everyday...oh ya,today i went 2 mothercare..actually i was around dat area in kk times square.....met client there n sempat lg p window shopping..but it turns out 2 be not a window shopping...aiyo!!!!sempat lg buy a shirt n jeans 4 my bro barro which he will turn a year old next mth on d 14th....so kira early bday gift la bha jg 2...since dat they only come here once a mth usually on d 25th la kan..coz mommy mau p byr hutang piutang n bli groceries...n bring her granddaughter p shopping..wahahaha...i like...

ok then,till my next blog....which i dunno when i will hv time 2 write again...malas la nak upload gmbr...bkn stakat upload,wanna transfer from hp 2 pc pun now im so lazy...got tons of newe pic actually dat i hv 2 transfer but im jez not in d mood 2 do it now...till then...gracias...

work + happy mothers day

hye all....sorry 4 my long dissapearence....been very bz lately juggling both work n mommy life....as ya'll know ive started working last week d 4th may/monday as an account manager with tm info media sdn bhd @ yellowpages....so far all i can say about my work is dat its tiring n got lots of form 2 fill up....bunch of paperwork 2 be done,reports 2 do......haiyak........

ok ok....since dat i am also doing sales,it is quite ok la,coz at least i got 2 get out of d office at least once a day....hahahha...n d pay,its worth d hard work la.....basic+car allowance+commision+laundry+commision+target bonus+sales bonus= shopping!!!hahaha...all in can get around rm2-3k a mth la.....

enuff about my work,now moving 2 dani's story....been sending her 2 d nursery since monday 4th may...on friday when i picked her up from school,i was shocked by d teacher n a kid parents dat they told me dani scartch their sons face..my godness....mcm kna cakar harimau bha muka dat boy..kesian...but i was puzzled also coz 2days b4 i already cut dani's fingernails....ntahla...d teacher said dat they were quarreling over a toys when d incident happened.....i have adviced d teachers there 2 pay more attention la next tme coz these things wont happent if they pay more attention.....as 4 d boy parents,i already apologise...muka d boy's mom punyala sandi,x da senyum bha although i apologise bepuluh2 kali ni.....ala,kids bha kan,mmg la bha gni.....adui dani,pening kepala mommy.....

ok,as 4 today,its sunday n its mothers day...yippie!!!i would like 2 wish my dearest mommy azizah ibrahim, a very happy mothers day n i luv u so much...as 2 all moms out there,wishing ya'll a happy mothers day.....

confession of a "penggeli kucing"

interesting title??yeap it is.....honestly,i am a penggeli kucing...i am horrifically scared of those hairy creature.....but here's a funny yet heart touching story 4 me....

ok ok....yesterday b4 we headed back 2 papar,as usual darling hubby brought us eat @ kfc putatan...so,tetiba my eyes catches an interesting sign.."aquarium n pets world"...so,i said 2 hubby after momom kta sgah sana k darling....so pas momom kmi pun 3branak sgah la kat kedai 2....mula2 masuk all i can was only aquarium filled with lots of kind of fishes...next door ada hamster n rabbit..euwwwww......hehhe...then,ada kandang which is filled with cats....1 kandang,kucing kampung sold at rm50 after disc rm40..d other cage filled with "british squinted eyes cat",funny ni muka kucing 2 coz mata kucing2 2 smua juling..heheheh...then ada 1 kandang ni,menarik perhatian btul2...theres 3 lil' persian kitten.....sangat2 comel...2 warna grey 1 warna kuning coklat2....adui......gergitang tgk keletah manja kucing2 ni tau...

hubby as usual la dr dlu pun mmg suka gila sm kucing...even my sis pya kucing pun dia sgup mta hantar p kk all d way dr kl but my sis yg x sgup coz kucing2 2 kna kuarantin dlu 4 about 3weeks b4 kna hand over 2 d receiver...ishishish....aik lari dr tajuk da ni...ok ok ok....so,honestly i am still 2 date scared 2 touch any hairy creature d dunia ni...tp kucing2 yg hari 2 cute btul....kin jatuh cinta ni..but still i dont dare 2 touch it..hehhehe....harga persian breed cat ni 4 yg kitten rm1500 after disc rm1300....ntah knapa out of d blue hati ni jatuh cinta n teringin pula mau bela 1 ekor kitten 2...but i know 4 d 1st tme me n hubby if mau pelihara kucing ni msti invest duit byk...coz kna bli cage dia,climbing tree dia,tmpt mkn,berak,etc.....

erggghhh,dunno y until now i am still thinking of dat cute lil' kitten...comelttttttttt.....hopefully hubby soon akan bersetuju 2 buy 1 of d kitten la.....its gud 2 hv 1 in our hse since in islam kan nabi ckp kucing ni penjaga rmh jg....insyallah ada rezeki nti dprla bli dat kitten....heheheh..till then....oh ya,2morrow i'll no longer be a stay at home mom....i am officially by 2morrow be a career mom..heheheh...

vote for sipadan

wah,tajuk diatas tu...banar2 smagat eh.....kuikuikui.....neway,2 all malaysian dat have not yet vote 4 our beautiful island,sipadan,which btw had been nominated 4 d new 7wonders of nature,plz vote..its easy..as easy as  1 2 3 a b c..heheh..plz click on d link below 2 vote......go sipadan..(p/s: although sdri org sabah blm pernah jejakkan kaki ke sipadan nih..heheh..insyallah 1 day i will...i must...though i dun really like beach sand...eeeuuww...)

http://www.new7wonders.com/nature/en/vote_on_nominees/